Best Posts

Best Bits

Short stories from my Tumblr.

9th August 2011 Last night I saw an old friend. We were talking about the time he was suspended above and to the side of me while I was tied to a table below. A rope led from…

Wet Bits

My other Tumblr – where I keep the stuff that turns me on.

15 May 2012 I did it. I came on his chest like a dude. Well, sort of. Wasn’t exactly aiming, but it did shoot like a foot cuz I was flat on my back …

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unlimited data, my ass

I have an unlimited data plan with AT&T. But here’s what happens when I use it to stream Pandora (instead of relying on my shitty home connection with Digital Path).

3gb cap att iphone

I called them. It’s a result of a change they made in the last year or few. They say I’ll still get unlimited data, but that if I use over 3GB, they’ll slow me down so I have a 10-12 second delay for music and video.


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7 deadly words for adult websites (that use VISA)

I just stumbled across this notice on one of the adult sites I use:

Banned Keywords on [REDACTED] Domain

Visa and Mastercard require that we eliminate any words they do not wish to associate with their billing services. Since we rely on Visa and Mastercard we must comply with these rules.

The main subjects are listed below in bullets. The breakdown is listed below that:

• Drugged/Incapacitated
• Rape/Brutality
• Bestiality
• Blood/Mutilation
• Pedophilia
• Incest
• Necrophilia

Alcohol: All variations: drink, liquor, etc.
Asphyxia: All variations: asphyxiate, asphyxiation, etc.
Bleed: All variations: bleeding, etc
Child: All variations: children, etc
Drunk: All variations: drunken,etc
Force: All variations: forced, forces.
Forcing: Rape/Brutality
Hypnotize: All variations: hypnotized, etc
Molest: All variations: molestation, molested, etc
Murder: All variations: murdered, etc.
Mutilate: All variations: mutilated, etc
Mutilation, Blood/Mutilation
Passed out, Drugged/Incapacitated
Sedate: All variations: sedation, sedated, etc
Tentacle: All variations: tentacles, etc

Boy, that sure takes out a lot of common fantasies I see in the phone sex world – like hypnosis, forced intox, any kind of ‘forced’ fem, bi, etc. The alcohol is the one that really surprises me.

Largely, I can see why the stuff on this list is objectionable. These are generally things we don’t want going on in the real world. But this is sexual fantasy we’re talking about here. It just kills me that VISA/MC/Paypal are now the utmost moral arbiters of our innermost desires. Orwell didn’t see that one coming.

Amusingly, I don’t see a single thing about scat, which other places have had to ban because of similar cc/processor demands. Another site I use has bans on fisting and watersports, which also didn’t even get a mention in the above list.

That’s the most insulting part of it all. It’s not like there’s any consistency here. The oft cited definition of obscenity is “I’ll know it when I see it”, yet it seems the current definition is more like “Whatever the payment processor says it is today“.

I just don’t get it.

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share your fetlife videos w/friends for free!

Simple trick to share your Fetlife videos with friends for free.

This is a friends only video I uploaded on Fetlife.

Not only does Fetlife normally require you to log in to view it (and to be a paid member), but you must be my friend.

Since I have no friends on Fetlife, it should therefore be theoretically unviewable by anybody on Fetlife but myself, correct? So none of those paying members are getting the benefit of this super awesome really special video, correct?

So far so good. I like that. I like that a lot. Especially since I can show this super awesome really special video to all my peeps (and hide it from the creeps!) without anybody having to purchase a goddamn thing. (Even if I delete it(!), because I hear these links stay up indeterminately even after the user deletes their content and/or profile.)

Where did I get this magical forever link? Basically, I just opened up the page’s source* and did a find search (CTRL+ F) for “videocdn“.

The one that comes up with “encoded.mp4″ at the end is the regular video file for browsers/download. I think the one below it is for mobile viewing, like if you want to send it to your friend’s phone.

Let’s find out and see!

Does this open on mobile phones?

Yep, sure as fuck does. Tested it from Twitter.

To find a page’s source is a little bit different in each browser. You can look under View or Tools or even right click on the page for the mouse menu. It will be called something like Source, View Source or Page Info.

For more info on how to do this in Firefox, see my previous post about how to do this for your pictures. On a side note, user IDs don’t appear to be part of the structure for video links like they are for photos; meaning that people who know the link structure won’t automatically be able to trace the link back to your profile.

Why would you want to be able to send content to your friends without them having to log into or pay Fetlife? Because lots of us have friends who are kinky but don’t wanna have anything to do with that site. Or are broke. Or both.

So for them, a video of the coolest faucet ever. Enjoy.

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all the sucking

nuthin much to do but sit and think
mostly I think about you
how I want to tell you things
show you things

how much I miss your goddamn smell
and your hand upon my seam
calming me the way you do
god, how I love you

all these thoughts and more
cascading thru my brain
but all can be summed up
in a single refrain


I want you in every way, all of you
sleeping gorgeous in my bed
sliding into my throat as I give you head
gadfly biting when I’ve been bad

my conscience, my heart, my aesthetic joy
never did I deduce these hid in “that boy”
more than a boy, more than a man
you push me to be all that I can

sometimes I hate you for it, this much is true
even worse, I act like it, too
dunno what to say other than that, I guess
for You… I want that too

all of it, the good, the bad, the ugly
I see myself darkly and burn with shame
but see, the thing is… no one else makes me see me
it’s like you know my true name

don’t want to be like this but how will I know
if no one will tell me when I let it show
the pain is hard, as we well know
but maybe together we’ll both grow

I want not just your hard cock
but also your hard talk
the good sucking and the bad sucking
fuck it; I just fucking want You.

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deals on condoms

Back in March, this post inspired me to go looking for cheaper condoms. All the online reviews agreed that field tests of the Crown brand found here were great.

Unfortunately, those were out of stock when I went looking; possibly even due to that particular post. So were the Black Ice condoms of unknown quality that were also linked in the same post. Of course, now both kinds are in stock and available.

With luck, they’ll still be around by the time I get some money. My bank account took a serious nosedive during Shibaricon thanks to all the extra spending I did with the airline on baggage fees and snacks. But luckily, the credit union I’m with now isn’t hitting me with insane overage fees like B of A or Wells Fargo would have done. Making the switch away, while it took me a few months, is now clearly one of the better and more sanity inducing things I’ve done.

But anyway, the sex had to be had. Safely. He liked the Magnums a lot because they were comfortable but the prices in the drugstores and whatnot were horrendous. Like $35 for the Big Box, of like 48, yeah? My memory kinda sucks. But so did those prices. And it got worse the smaller size box, like $20 for 24 or something.

Side note: I just searched Google for condoms “In stock nearby” and it came up blank. Actually, it came up with four books from Barnes & Noble, one being a Terry Pratchett Discworld novel and another entitled Godless: The Church of Liberalism. Oh, and the last one: For the Relief of Unbearable Urges. Natch.

So yeah, Google is completely worthless for doing local price comparisons. Which is fucked up. All the stores around here carry condoms. I think we tried Walgreens, CVS, Walmart, Safeway, and Kmart. Dismal prices all the way around.

With two exceptions. A friend of ours has a Costco club card. They only had one brand (Durex) when we went in, but it was a tin of 48 for just $10! Assorted, no less. Those were really nice, and long gone.

The other exception is the 99 Cent Store. For a long time I was leery of their condoms but I bought them anyway to use on sex toys for easy cleanup. I’ve seen at least two brands there: Playgirl condoms, which come in white boxes with purple lettering, and Fantasy condoms, which come in red, green, yellow, and blue boxes.

I passed the cheap condoms for sex toy cleanup tip on to the pro-SM house I was working at, which resulted in some hilariously large purchases on my part for their behalf. It’s always fun to stand in the line at the dollar store with nothing but twenty boxes of condoms in your basket. I never know whether to keep a straight face or smile real wide.

In that same incredibly informative post mentioned above, I also since learned how horrible nonoxynol-9 is for the lady bits so now I only buy the green and red boxes, which don’t have it. The green boxes are assorted colors, lubricated, and I think the red boxes are all one color (red, maybe?) and lubricated. Similar thing with the blues and yellows, only they have the spermicide,

“which has been found to increase the risk of HIV, HPV, trichomonas, and vaginosis infections.  Sex workers are 50% more likely to contract HIV if they use nonoxynol-9.  And the reason is nasty—because it can cause ulcers to form in your vagina, which creates open wounds for infection to enter.”

At any rate, I’ve seen these Fantasy brand condoms for sale in non dollar stores so they’re not a totally unknown brand. After we ran out of Planned Parenthood condoms and the ones from Costco, we decided to check the expiration dates on the Fantasy brand ones from the dollar store and give them a try.

They seem sturdy enough, which is perhaps why they end up as overstocks. They’re not the thinnest or most comfortable condoms on the market. But for a buck a twelve pack, we’re not complaining, and the assorted colors in the green boxes are nice – every so often I get to joke about how nice it is to get a big black cock! We did have one condom break but he noticed it fairly quickly and was able to replace it and keep going.

I mentioned Planned Parenthood a moment ago. If you’re lucky enough to have one in your area that provides this service, and you meet their income requirements, you can go in once every 30 days for a brief consultation and get a 30 count bag of these bad boys, for free. If you have partners in similar circumstances, they can do it, too. Which gives an average of 1 condom a day per partner participating. Not the worst ration in the world.

I asked them once about getting the internal, or “female” condoms, and they said that I would also have to make a separate appointment for that. I haven’t yet bothered, because then we found the $10 Durex tin, and then later, the $1 Fantasy 12 packs.

Oh, and I just hit the motherload getting a grab bag of all kinds of condoms & lube goodies as schwag at the Putting the Sex(y) back in STI class I took at Shibaricon from Rica – to whom I also volunteered my vagina to model the insertion of the internal “female” condom. Very strange, to have a stranger inserting their fingers inside of oneself in front of a class. But not exactly my first time, and certainly the least I could do given the all out efforts given by the volunteers in my squirting class the day before.

So yeah, there’s the resources I’ve tapped this year for the safer sexes. Got any good tips yourself? Share them below in the comments!

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how to squirt sunshine

So, the event that left me dazzled and dazed for, well, days during and after Shibaricon was getting to participate in Graydancer’s RopenSpace unconference event on Friday.

And not just getting to participate by attending but getting to participate by facilitating something AWESOME!!!

I’d heard of unconferences before, mostly due to maymay writing about the KinkForAll events he started. And I’d seen Graydancer tweet about his GRUEs from time to time.

But I still didn’t really get it.

Until I was there.

It was morning, we had no idea what was gonna happen. Maybe if I’d read some of the links above, I might have, but no, I hadn’t been quite that motivated beforehand. So we’re there, blurry eyed and dragging tail. I’m wearing my pink “Fuck you, ya fucking fuck” shirt cuz that’s the mood I’m in.

Graydancer explains the basic principles:

  1. Whoever shows up are the right people.
  2. Whenever a class starts is the right time.
  3. When its over, its over.
  4. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.

…and the Law of Two Feet, which says if you ain’t into it, find something that you are instead. No harm, no foul.

The volunteers tape up a whiteboard to make a time slot grid and Gray encourages us to come up to the mic with a slip of paper cut to either half/hour/1.5 hour lengths (to fit the grid) with our class topic and our name.

Three lines form on the stage around the mics. Gray says to talk about something we’re passionate about and want to share. Encourages people to share topics and even co-present. I’m thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Trying to think if there’s anything I know enough about to share with all these awesome rope people.

Then somebody gets up on the mic and suggests a non rope class, something more sexual. Graydancer says “It doesn’t have to be about rope!” And then it clicked. I got up, knees wobbly, and wrote down my name and class on the slip:

class title tag for Shibaricon squirting classWaited my turn in line then announced in a low voice “I’m Sunshine and I’d like to lead a discussion on Squirting, or How to Achieve Female Ejaculation.” Shaking, I got off the stage and went to give my topic slip to the volunteers to place on the board. Told ‘em I didn’t care when so they gave me a 4:30 pm slot for half an hour. No worries, that gives me six hours to stress.

Which I didn’t, really. I was excited. Squirting IS something I’m passionate about, and something I’ve always wanted to bring up in a big group of people to hear about their varied experiences. I’ve taught at least one friend how to squirt just by talking about my own experiences and I’m practically a novice myself so I was Quite Excited to be able to tap other people’s brains as well.

When I rolled into the class, I was surprised and slightly dismayed to see Lqqkout and some other volunteers taping a large tarp to the floor. Now, I’ve been fascinated with squirting for years, and occasionally talk about some of my successes with it on my blog, but in no way was I prepared to get up in front of a class and squirt on cue.

Not because of shyness, but because it takes me too bloody long to get there on my own. And I need a Hitachi, which I didn’t bring. Or someone with proficient fingers, which I also didn’t seem to have handy. Also, I really, really, really wanted to lead a DISCUSSION, which would be hard for me to do while trying to make myself come.

So I said that. “Um, I’d intended this to be a discussion, not a demo.” General reaction of disappointment. Ah, crap. Well, nothing for it. “Well, I guess we could always call for volunteers – is anybody here a good squirter?” The room was already half full, and unbeknownst to me, the call went out into the hallway for squirting demos.

Fuck me running, but I ended up with not one, not two, but three live demo models to literally lay their asses down on the mat and get wet for education. THREE. I’m still sitting here shaking my head in wonder thinking “Did that really just happen to me?!” Yes, Virginia, it really did, and there really is a ShibariClause.

I briefly talked with all three of them to make sure they had whatever they needed to make the magic happen. One ran up to her room to grab a Hitachi, while another made a dildo out of a hank of hemp rope and a condom. Yes, you read that right. Shibaricon attendees are awesomesauce.

So we started off with me telling my own story about how I learned to squirt, which was part accident, part education, and a huge part practice. Then I invited everyone else to share their stories, starting with my brave demo models standing to my right, patiently waiting with toys in hand.

We talked about specific toys and methods. The Njoy came up a lot, as did the Hitachi Magic Wand. We talked about the come hither hooking and pulling fingering method and anecdotes were shared about squirting from SM and pulling out like in porn.

Both men and women were encouraged to share their stories and experiences. My only regret is that I used an awful lot of cis/hetcentric language that definitely excluded women who play with women and most likely other non binary folks. This was partially (and very politely) offset by my middle demo model explaining how she liked to make other women squirt, and I owe her a debt of thanks for balancing my unconsciously biased language out.

After we’d talked about the basics for awhile it felt like time to start the demo. So I asked the three volunteers to get comfortable as best they could on the cold plastic tarp. The first in line had warned me that she went off really fast, and that turned out to be no lie. In less than a minute or two she was sprinkling all over the place.

Found myself reassuring the others that it wasn’t a race, and to take their time. Meanwhile, our first volunteer was still going, while bravely attempting to answer questions at the same time. It was quite impressive. She pretty much ended up covered in her own juice by the end of the demo. The other two also squirted in their own time, and there was great applause when the third volunteer finally got hers.

I was torn between trying to continue the conversation or just stare in muted respect and silence at the heroic efforts of our three determined volunteers. Ended up doing a little bit of both, trying to keep the flow of shared knowledge going as well as decreasing the pressure from our masturbators being the absolute center of quiet and focused attention.

Overall, the effect was outstanding. I felt like I was part of something profound and amazing – a coming together and sharing of information, experience, and intimacy. I finally got why this whole unconference thing is such a radical, revolutionary idea, and I look forward to seeing it expand into all venues of education. I don’t think this “class” would have worked in any other venue or format, but this, well, this was a once in a lifetime perfect opportunity.

Mad thanks to Diana, Graydancer, and all the other staff, volunteers, and participants who made this magic happen. It made not just my day, but a significant portion of this part of my life. I’m so happy and thankful that this awesomeness was allowed to happen, and that it happened through my instigation. Awesome life is awesome.

Edit: Here are the notes from the rest of the RopenSpace classes: 

Questions? Ask me on Ingenio:

Listen to one of my early squirting experiments on NiteFlirt:

Call Sunshine Love for phone sex on Call Sunshine Love for phone sex on

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interactions with strangers

Stopped to get gas at the Pilot Station at Road 8 where I-5 meets I-505. Saw a dude standing by the road holding a sign saying something to the effect of “Need food & money to get home”. Sized him up as I drove past to get to the pumps; he looked harmless enough.

Got my pump going and walked over to offer him a ride. “Where’s home?” I asked.

“Bakersfield,” he said.

“Boy, that’s a long way,” I said. Then I noticed the gas can. “Oh! You’re in a car?”

“Yeah, me and my girlfriend ran out of gas. We’ve been here since this morning.”

“That sucks.” Thought about it for a moment. “Grab your can and follow me.”

So he picks up his big red plastic container and his little brown puppy and follows me back to the pump. My gas has finished pumping, it’s at thirty some odd dollars and nine and a half gallons. Motioned for him to unscrew his lid with my hose so I could stick it in.

Ran it up to an even fifty dollars, which put it at twelve point five gallons. “That’s about three gallons, then,” I said.

“Hey, thanks,” he said. “That’s way better than a dollar here or there.”

Didn’t think much about it until later when I realized that, yeah, three gallons of gas isn’t exactly chump change these days. But it was an easy rounding up to make – I was already pumping gas and the extra twelve bucks or so wasn’t gonna break the bank. Plus, it was much easier than parting with the meager amount of cash I happened to be carrying on me. And it was a tangible gift. So I felt good, he felt good, everything was good. I reparked my car and went inside to get a hamburger.

Came back out and saw my gas tank door open and the cap missing. “Oh shit,” I thought. “Guess no good deed goes unpunished.”

Scanned the ground then retraced my steps to look for it at the pumps. Was still three pumps away when a lady yelled out, “You looking for your gas cap?” She pointed to where she’d set it down since it had fallen off my bumper where I usually set it.

Relieved, I retrieved and replaced it, then went on my merry way. But the whole thing reminded me of something I read or watched recently online, something having to do with people being generally helpful, almost as if by instinct, and I realized that it was right. When we have suffered similar problems, when we recognize them happening to other people, we do try to help or prevent – if we can, if it is easy, if it is painless, etc.

There was something else I read recently, something about the social contract and expectations. We expect people to help if the effort is small or the outcome great enough. Oh, here it is:

Communism is in a way the basis of all social relations – in that if the need is great enough (I’m drowning) or the cost small enough (can I have a light?) everyone will be expected to act that way.


This quote in particular has been sticking with me for days. There’s some stuff in there I want to sort out in regards to autism, boundaries, and behavioral norms but I suspect it’ll take me awhile. Meanwhile, I’m just gonna leave it here to chew on for a bit.

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making the switch away from Gmail and Google

I’m over Google. As I envisioned, it’s getting harder and harder to avoid Google+ and their new “improved” and fully linked and Orwellian profiles. So to hell with them. I don’t want my youtube linked to my email linked to my photos linked to my chats linked to my shopping linked to my searches and published somewhere sometime for everyone to see everything at once — and under my REAL NAME, no less. Fuck all that.

Since I have my own domains, it made the most sense to switch my email accounts from Gmail to my own servers but now I need a new client interface for my Windows 7 machine. Have tried four today:

  1. Windows Live (blech!)
  2. SeaMonkey (hard to adjust account set up)
  3. Opera (liking it quite a lot)
  4. Thunderbird (meh)

I like that Windows Live Mail has an integrated calendar and such, but other than that the format is aggravating and it’s difficult to figure out how to make account changes. It separates my accounts and doesn’t seem to have an integrated inbox.

SeaMonkey looks awesome enough, and I think I’d really like it, but I made a small mistake when setting up my first email account and now I can’t figure out how to fix it. A challenge for a new day, perhaps.

Oh, hey, there it goes. The setting is hard to find but it’s there. This is a tempting little browser – it comes with mail, a web composer, contacts, and chat. No calendar. Lots of little windows. I don’t like that the mail is pop up windows, but I might remember to try that composer the next time NVU crashes on me.

Opera. Dig it a lot. Integrates all the mail accounts very nicely. Also is within the Opera browser itself, which I actually like a lot since I’m used to using webmail with Gmail.

Of course, that begs the question as to why I just don’t use the webmail services that come with my server. <shudders> Those were fugly.

Last and possibly least was Thunderbird, which was nothing more than underwhelming.

So, that leaves me more or less happy with Opera at the end of the day, even though it doesn’t seem to have an integrated calendar. But there are widgets that look interesting, so I’ll maybe give them a shot.

What I’d like is a synched calendar that works on my phone and computer, but I don’t see one that doesn’t require a login from one of the major names like Hotmail, AOL, Yahoo, Gmail, or mobileme. There’s an option to add a CalDAV account, however that works. Not immediately useful, that I can tell.

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